looking at the latest hn thread about mastodon and seeing at least a half-dozen people who are essentially saying: "i went on mastodon and the people on there were behaving in a kind and respectful way, and it was too stressful to make myself behave in a kind and respectful way too, so i left"

weirds me out so much when i read stuff like this. like gives me a massive huge "unknowability of the other" feeling

like. what's the most charitable way we can interpret this sentiment?? are they saying "i'm incredibly clumsy and can't be trusted around people who i may hurt"? or "i just want to be allowed to be an asshole because it fits my personal brand and makes me feel cool and other people actually telling me this isn't cool is cramping my style"???