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Salut vous !

Après pas mal d'hésitations et de questionnements, au cours des derniers mois, j'en arrive enfin à accepter que je suis une meuf trans, et que j'ai envie de commencer une transition.

Dans la vie de tous les jours, je suis développeuse (original, je sais ;), j'habite dans le sud de la France, et je suis plutôt introvertie.

J'avais fait un autre compte sur Eldritch, il y a quelques temps, @vague, qui redirige maintenant vers celui-ci.

Au plaisir de vous lire 😘

Recherche d'appart' 

Bon, les agences qui répondent pas au téléphone…

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Recherche d'appart' 

Allez, on essaie de s'y remettre

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Ça existe des association française de gens au #RSA pour informer/déculpabiliser/faire les démarches pour ceux qui veulent le toucher ?

'Jour vois, j'espère que la journée a bien démarrée pour vous :blob_cat:

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selfie, eye contact, poitrine nue 

et je profite d'être chez mes parents pour avoir un joli fond !

Entre le de revolutionibus orbium coelestium de ma mère bien sûr qu'on reconnais bien parmi les bouquins, forcément

Selfie 

J'aime vraiment beaucoup cette robe

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Mini rant 

Allez la psychiatre là, j'en ai marre d'attendre...

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"Participating in a sizeable software project such as #Funkwhale can seem daunting at first, but I'd like to assure everyone that it is a very welcoming project run by people who love to receive suggestions, contributions, and support from as many people as they can. Given our anti-meritocratic stance, we believe in encouraging people to get involved, helping them achieve what they've set out to achieve, and ultimately grow alongside us."

mastodon.eliotberriot.com/@fun

blog.funkwhale.audio/~/Communi

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Deux premières photos :
Tournesol géant géant (mais genre vraiment quoi, il doit faire 2m au moins !). J'ai fait grimper des haricots dessus juste parce que c'était joli et rigolo. Le haricot et le tournesol se font la course depuis un mois. Alors que le haricot avait rattrapé son retard, le tournesol l'a à nouveau dépassé. Le suspens est intenable !

Deux dernières photos :
Capucines !!

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:betty: Hello, #Funkwhale friend! We are looking for contributors, and maybe you could help us!

We're currently looking for development help, but there's lots of other ways to contribute. Give this new blog a read, and share with anyone you think might be interested. And @ us with any questions.

:wanda: Getting Involved With Funkwhale: blog.funkwhale.audio/~/Communi

mh, neg topics 

And I know "weeks" is a short timespan when it comes to mental health.

But after weeks literally looking at the ceiling of my bedroom for hours a day, I cannot stand this anymore.

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mh, neg topics 

In this state of boredom / lack of focus, I'm not always sad, but I'm definitely not happy. I could be a piece of furniture, for what it matters.

I want my focus back, but it's been gone for weeks now, and I don't know what to do.

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mh, neg topics 

Due to my lack of focus, I cannot work anymore. Any task that requires more than 5 minutes of attention is too daunting.

At this point, I'm thinking more and more my only option is to stop working on Funkwhale.

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mh, neg topics 

I though going out yesterday to see some friends would help, but it didn't.

Cannot talk, cannot focus on the conversation, I went home after only 45 minutes because it was unbearable.

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mh, neg topics 

An exemple of loss of focus. I used to spend 100s of hours on World of Warcraft when I was younger.

Yesterday morning, I installed Guild Wars 2 to play with some fedifriends, and I got bored after 3 or 4 hours.

Nothing "clicks" anymore. I spend my days trying some video games and see if I can get past 5 minutes of gameplay.

And when I'm too frustrated, I try to read, and after 5 minutes, I have to stop because my hand is shaking, or because I just cannot focus.

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mh, neg topics 

I wonder to what extent this is a side effect of my mood regulator and if changing to a different one could improve the situation.

Truth is, I don't really have that much hope left. I'm on autopilot, waiting for something external to push me in a different (better or worse) direction.

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mh, neg topics 

I feel increasingly bored at everything in my life that mattered. Work, books, video games, friends, relationships, life projects…

I'm barely able to focus more than a couple of minutes on something.

I sleep 12 to 14 hours a day, because I'm so bored there is nothing else I can do.

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mh, neg topics 

I've been going through a lot lately (past 4 months). A depression, being hospitalized for a month due to my really poor mental health, working on my transition, preparing my move to a new city…

I thought I was getting better, but it feels less and less the case, and more and more that my depressive symptoms became more subtle during summer.

I used to have crisis at regular intervales (4-8 weeks). It seems I still have those, but new symptoms appeared too.

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Eldritch Café

Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.

A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.