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Good morning, gentles all. 🌇

Today, the 6yo is throwing a giant fit because I won’t cut the apple they want to eat into slices. “Why was I even alive???” they ask meaning, “Why was I even born?” Indeed, is life worth living if your parents don’t want to wash a cutting board and knife every time you look at an apple and you have to just take bites if it? Surely not. 🙄

@benhamill HONESTLY

I'm with the kiddo on this. Apples taste better when slices.

But also, I cannot count how many times I've injured myself trying to slice some tasty apple.

But also also, it just made the apple more delicious.

@guerrillarain If the kid wants to slice their own apples, and wash the dishes and do their own first aid, I’m not gonna stop them.

@guerrillarain Like, I agree that slices are great. But throwing an enormous fit over getting only 90% of exactly what you want is… whew.

@guerrillarain @benhamill

Life hack: cut the apple into quarters, then, instead of cutting around the core, just cut out the cores in one diagonal slice. Optional step: eat the bits of apple still attached to the core chunks.

Ta-da: low-effort sliced apples.

This blew my mind when I saw it.

@suetanvil @benhamill

Additional life hack: Train 6 year old in knives and first aid--

wait no.

@suetanvil @guerrillarain Yeah. They’re on the schedule for… eventually.

However, this is how I slice apples. You can also do Roma tomatoes this way, too. It’s the cleaning if the knife I actually begrudge.

@suetanvil @guerrillarain @benhamill My preference is to just start eating the apple from the blossom end, spit out the seeds as I go through the core, and finally toss the stem.

This tends to upset people for some reason.

@varx @suetanvil @guerrillarain Do you also spit out the bottom part where the blossom used to be? What about the translucent, thin, tough material in the core _near_ the seeds that is murder between your teeth?

@benhamill I don't notice the blossom-end stuff.

The hard stuff around the seeds is only a problem in a couple varieties with a drier core, and I avoid it in those. I can't remember which.

@benhamill Oh hey, our 5-almost-6-year-old has just started pulling this nonsense too.

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Eldritch Café

Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.

A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.