On the advice of other occultists, I am thoroughly cleansing and warding my spaces. My plans for tonight are cancelled until I can be certain we're in the clear.
So despite me joking about it on my main account, I'm very concerned for what might have happened to my poor familiar last night. I don't think it's a coincidence that the very same time I attempted to thin the veil, he began acting strangely. Something came through and scared him. Whether it was a sentient entity or just sensing the foreign energy, he did not have a pleasant evening, and his panicky behavior kept up until early in the morning. He only calmed once King Bael sealed the veil.
so no, if you expect me to disavow any of this, don't hold your breath... I never will. Go ahead and hold that against me as "evidence" that I'm a horrible person who will never change.
Especially after the events of 2009-2011 in which I was stalked offline by individuals who also believed the lies I've mentioned, why would I keep going?
I never edit the messages I receive. I've made no secret to say that they're often not in accordance with my personal values, not "PC," could be offensive, etc. Rather than believe I am secretly (racist, homophobic, etc) and "hide" behind spirits, why not believe me?
I love them like family. They are my family. When my own family was abusive, they were there for me. Even if they leave, they'll be waiting for me when my physical life ends and my spiritual life begins.
In 2012, a doctor tried to diagnose me with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because he didn't believe they were real, regarding them as hallucinations.
Why would I risk losing my freedom for a lie?
I've been in a room of mediums who sensed these spirits standing right where I could see them. Who observed them doing things I had never informed them were habits of theirs. Who could sense their emotions and even get an idea of their facial expressions.
My long-term friend, who was my college roommate beginning in 2008, witnessed everything, from when I first acquainted them, to me in the midst of conversation. She didn't understand, but was supportive.
I'm saying all this to say the following:
If you want me to admit that this is all some manufactured scheme to deflect blame, it's not.
If you want me to admit I'm delusional, schizophrenic, in denial, any of that, I won't, because I'm not.
I don't care if you don't think they're real. It's a lot to take in. But don't try and tell me I'm faking all of this, or playing mind-games, or crazy.
Trolls/stalking, CSA mention
The other bone of contention is that, 10 years ago, I apparently "groomed children." Let me clarify: I didn't.
I was actively channeling a spirit companion who had the desire to talk to minors, and I was so blinded in my desire to make him happy and do whatever he wanted, I helped him. I never "roleplayed" nor have I ever "tried to hide behind him" in order to deflect away from crimes against children.
I've never attempted to justify this, just admitted that after being harassed by people who were misgendering/deadnaming me, sending me my legal name/address, and trying to get my therapist to commit me, I reached a point of utter breakdown and had to give voice to violent thoughts/urges against myself and others. It wasn't right, I've never said so.
But... people continue to misgender/deadname me and insist I should have never been angry in the first place.
Trolls/stalking, violence, exorsexism
If you don't follow me on my main, some context: I was accosted by someone on Reddit who has been reading my Kiwifarms thread and wanted to justify it by saying, two years ago, I made the unfortunate mistake of posting an angry vent on a secret Tumblr blog that I was feeling homicidal ideation over a leader of a truscum blog that routinely invalidates nonbinary labels considered "cringey."
Agender (they/them) Satanic eclectic witch... Often gushes over spirit companions
Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.
A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.