How to avoid "drama" on the fediverse:
- I messed up.
- I had a lapse in judgement.
- My sincerest apologies.
- Yo, you right. My b.
I promise you, this is a thing that works if you actually try it.
Meanwhile my ass has been apologizing every day to this younger coworker of mine because I didn't see her waving at me and she thought I was ignoring her.
@guerrillarain shit that's some arcane eldritch knowledge, or at least you'd think based on how rarely people employ it.
@guerrillarain THIS TBH
@guerrillarain my personal corollary has always been "just apologize now and have the real conversation tomorrow if you have to" because i can guarantee I'll have a more productive conversation after ruminating to myself than being immediately defensive.
@Jewbacchus I would kill for folks to use a "I need to reflect on this situation, excuse me" omg
@guerrillarain extremely same. From observation the two biggest vectors for unnecessary conflict here have been no one sleeping on it and people jumping into other people's conflicts.
@Jewbacchus @guerrillarain I've got these ones filed under #ThingsIHadToLearnPainfullyInOrderToStopBeingAToxicMan 👍
@guerrillarain ☝️ ☝️ ☝️
@guerrillarain Yeah, this generally works (though caveat, it doesn't work if people are looking for an excuse to hate you, which. . . does happen a distressing amount).
I feel like this is a good time to share this toot from someone I saw a while back, I forget who tooted it though.
the list as presented is more of a guideline than a strict rule set or checklist, and it’s important to use your own judgment to adapt the principles to specific situations. it doesn’t have to be done all at once or in that order, either.
Pro tip: works also outside the fediverse. Who knew?
@guerrillarain I bumped into someone tge other day and said I'm sorry. I heard someone say "Damn thats old school right there." When did that become old school?
Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.
A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.