So I'm gonna live-toot reading Interview with the Vampire as a black goth vampyre e-boi writing gothic horror and pin this to my profile for updates. Ideally, I'd like to go through at least the first 3 books, but we'll see.

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /1 

I am on page 5 and I would like to point out that Louis owned slaves.

+10 for dramatic turning on the lights to scare the human

-500 for owning slaves

He is at -490. I didn't plan on scoring characters but voil脿 I would body this boy on principle, given the chance.

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /2 

A small linguistic aside-- the reporter says Louis has a slight sharpness to the consonants and that's his french accent.

French consonants are actually softer than English so I am questioning authenticity. S, t, v, g, d, all very soft and gentle in French compared to a California American accent. Anne, imma have to disagree on this one.

Also, Louis still has an accent 200 years later? Well damn.

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /3 

This reporter just wants to know how Louis became a vampire and Louis is taking 30 damn years to describe the sunrise djsjjahsjaja

"Do you miss it?"
"Not really"

jdjahshufne BRUH then shut up and move on

I love gothic fiction so much, the characters are so sentimental and annoying 馃槶馃槀

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /4 

Louis is having a moral panic about murder and I can feel Lestat rolling his eyes as he says "Ain't NOBODY got time for this" and sexily turns Louis to shut him up

Thank you Lestat because I TOO was getting sick of his whining

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /5 

Louis both wants to die and is also turned on by the sexy vampire golddigger

CAN I GET A AMEN?!?

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /6 

Louis basically has death diarrhea (gotta purge that human waste!) and meanwhile Lestat's looking over the financials, ready to get his cash 馃槶馃槶

Louis has a liquid asshole and is panicking and Lestat is just like "yeah yeah you're dying but THIS CASH THOOOOOO"

I told myself I would NOT stan Lestat this time around but I am trash and I love drama.

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /7 

Oh noooooo *Lestat giggles* there are two of them and only one coffin!!!!!!! :blob_lewd: :blob_lewd: :blob_lewd: :blob_lewd: :blob_lewd:

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /8 (lewd adjacent?) 

"I'm getting into the coffin, and you will get in on top of me if you know what's good for you."

This isn't a pickup line the way it's used right now but Lestat walked so I could run--

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /9 

Louis is the most boring narrator I have ever experienced omg

and so self-righteous

"*I* for one have eaten only rats and chickens and LESTAT this comic-opera devil killed two or three people a NIGHT"

whew

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /10 

The only people who know Louis and Lestat are sketchy as hell are the people they have enslaved, these bros aren't even subtle they sleep in coffins and Lestat bites everything that moves how lol

Louis: *emerging from a fucking crypt* HOW do they KNOW we are VAMPIRES

Lestat: *chewing on his third house guest* they know?????

It is hard to believe there are 300 more pages of these yahoos and Claudia hasn't made her appearance yet.

"You whining coward or a vampire who prowls the night killing alley cats and rats and staring for hours at candles as if they were people and standing in the rain like a zombie until your clothes are drenched and you smell like old wardrobe trunks in attics and have the look of a baffled idiot at the zoo."

馃槱馃槱馃槱 why did Lestat go off like this I'm crying

Louis: They know we're vampires and they're gonna kill us. Time to give up gold napkin rings and leave.

Lestat: Listen up you STANK BITCH

馃槶馃槶馃槶

Interview with a Vampire /11 

Lestat's dad is on his death bed and Lestat is doing his nails like the true queen he is.

Follow

Interview with a Vampire live-toot /12 

Correction, Lestat is aggressively doing his nails on his father's death bed, so hard his fangs are showing and they honestly thought no one would notice something's up

Lestat: *kills thousands of people*

Louis: *kills one person in self defense*

Lestat: Look what you've done, you monster!!!

I have picked this up again. Louis is still whiny and insufferable.

Louis is having yet another existential crisis, so Lestat is telling him that the meaning of life as a vampire is to be the arbiter of death, killing and blood and death, they are predators with such keen vision... for death

and all I can think of is my cat. Killer of grasshoppers and my peace and quiet.

@guerrillarain
tired litcrit: the concept of vampires is based on contagious diseases
wired litcrit: the concept of vampires is based on landowning nobility
inspired litcrit: the concept of vampires is based on cats
(yes I made this public so it's boostable why do you ask XD)

@troodon come alive in the nighttime鉁
watching your every move 鉁
pretty and graceful 鉁
will be the death of you 鉁

vampires are cats

@guerrillarain This was my least favorite of all the books when I was a kid. It was such a relief to get to Lestat, even if his narration is exhaustingly breathless run-ons and weeping

I still love him and will not be stopped

Fancy weeping trashboy I love him

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Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, f茅ministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant路e路s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous 锚tes les bienvenu路e路s quelle que soit votre langue.

A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.