personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

I get more and more the impression that attractiveness, in a practical way, is not something that has much to do about what we look like in regard to what's usually considered as beautiful and good-looking. That's because, no matter what we look like, there will always be people attracted to our physionomy, and others not attracted.

personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

No, being attractive in our own life, our own experience, is about being open minded, being an open door ready to welcome the people who are curious about what we are and being able to open the door to the landscape of our personality, showing them :" hey, you want to know who I am? Here, take a look and let me look at you in return" and showing thus the kind of person we are, without shame, or discomfort.

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personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

At the same time, looking at someone who opens their personality to us means we need to respect them for this favor and behave accordingly with them. When someone opens the door to their personality, they are not promising me anything or giving me any hint other than "I'm OK to let you know more about me".

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personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

When we are ready to behave in such a way, we put ourselves in the perfect position to get in contact with the potential people who think that they are attracted to us and with whom we're simultaneously feeling the same impression of attraction. It creates the opportunity to try to build something out of it, and that's how a relationship (of any kind) starts in my opinion.

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personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

There's still much to say about why people with personal issues, insecures, may have tremendous difficulties to build a relationship : they protections they put to survive completely closed these doors and now that the danger is gone (if it is!), reopening them is very, very hard.

Well, I would have much more to say but I don't have the time now.

I hope it makes some sense.

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personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

@soza it definitely makes sense. I'm slowly learning to open these doors, and you basically articulated my own thoughts going thru this process, so thanks for sharing it ^^

personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

@jruka aw you're welcome :) It took me a while to do so ( and I'm still in the process !) but I can assure you that it's definetly worth the efforts. Things that seemed almost impossible for me some years ago happen now almost regularly... and that's great ! and I'm super happy of all the efforts I've put on opening myself and being someone who's easy to approach, while keeping and assuming my values, even stronger that before !

Keep going, it will only go better and better ^^

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personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships 

@soza Yeah it has gotten a bit better and I'm sure it will continue to do so ^^ Thanks!

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Eldritch Café

Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.

A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.