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I write about mental health, gender stuff, being attacked by animals, death, and general life in a dying country, mostly through horror fiction and slam poetry.

My book: tenebrous-press.square.site/pr

A list of all my published work: mshawesome.com/where-to-read-m

The micropress I run, which mostly publishes weird poetry and some weird fiction: troubledepartment.com/

If you want to give me money for some reason: account.venmo.com/u/M-Shaw-2

Using "what's up ya big weirdo" as a greeting is a turn-on

The most exhausting thing about living in the US is having to constantly pretend not to be aware that most of the people around you are absolutely irredeemable pieces of shit

Someone messaged me on OKCupid, which I haven't used in a long time, prompting me to look at what's in my profile there. This one is still pretty accurate.

Violence 

I once kicked a guy's ass using a dress. Like, as a weapon. It was some real Jackie Chan shit. I don't talk about that enough.

Drug/alcohol use, masculinity 

Guns and beer are for little baby bitches. Real men smoke crack and hunt deer with a fork.

Drug use 

This must be why girls are so weird

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Drug use 

Why did nobody tell me that estrogen is better than weed

Transition stuff 

Made an appointment with my GP to discuss transition care, which I assumed would mostly be about getting me a referral to a relevant clinic. Turns out she's been providing transition care for years herself and now I'm waiting on my HRT prescription to be filled. I have gone to space.

Especially when it's like, I'm specifically trying to convince you that the other party in this argument is *not* valid. It's like I'm in a sword fight and someone comes up to me and says "you have a sword." Thought that was a given but thanks, I guess?

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It's super weird to me how "you're valid" has become this catch-all reassurance for queer people, like a verbal thumbs up that doesn't necessarily refer to anything specific. Even when I'm confidently and firmly stating boundaries with people and it's very clear that I view myself as valid they'll still be like "you're valid" and I'm like "I know, bruh, that's why I'm saying all this."

It's weird how chasing your dreams necessarily involves confronting and reconciling all the years you ignored them with all the self-resentment that brings, very cool and fun

Body Horror 

Locked my keys in the truck. Managed to get them out without calling a locksmith, though I did get some fiberglass splinters under my fingernails throughout the, uh, recovery process. Which hurt like fuck but I write horror so mainly I was just thinking "wow, I need to remember how painful this is because I'm sure I can use it in something"

Got home from work and immediately laid face-down on the floor and passed out. Both cats were like "heh, mom's dead lol"

I bet if you fought Hello Kitty her fists would squeak like clown shoes as she was pummeling you

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Not as in, like, wanting to hurt it or beat it up or something, but specifically just wanting to fight it. It has to be fair. You have to be willing to get your ass kicked by a rat if the tide turns.

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Do you ever look at an animal such as an abnormally large rat and get this feeling like "that's so adorable, I want to fight it"

Coming out of my cage and
Going back in my cave
Gotta gotta be caged
Because I'm in a cage
It started out with a cave
How did it end up like thage

Mild body horror 

I honestly almost hate how well this zine sells. Trouble Department goes all out on our A-list trade books and then in comes this cheap-o booklet of poems about dissecting cadavers that I banged out in like a month and I can't tear people away from it. Gonna have to reprint the fucker, apparently.

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Eldritch Café

Une instance se voulant accueillante pour les personnes queers, féministes et anarchistes ainsi que pour leurs sympathisant·e·s. Nous sommes principalement francophones, mais vous êtes les bienvenu·e·s quelle que soit votre langue.

A welcoming instance for queer, feminist and anarchist people as well as their sympathizers. We are mainly French-speaking people, but you are welcome whatever your language might be.